To work or not to work

September is quickly approaching and that means that my mat leave will soon be ending. No more EI payments finding their way into my chequing account without leaving the house.

So the decision had to be made.

This past year has been a rollar coaster of emotions that surprised me. I love the job that I have had for the past five years and spent most of my pregnancy fully expecting that I would love to go back. In the last weeks of my pregnancy I started feel all sorts of emotions that I can only describe as *motherly*. I got excited at the thought of the little person that was growing inside of me. I had no idea who he or she was, but I knew that when Trevor put his head on my stomach and the little baby kicked him in the head, I was going to like this kid. He had spirit.

I have loved being at home with him. More than I ever could have imagined. My worries, while large in the moments that I've been living them, have been minor. As evidenced by the many pictures I have posted of him, he has been my pride and joy. I am in awe of him as he discovers new things. I love the enthusiasm he brings to trying new things. Steep stairs? No problem. Look at me go mom.

So, how can I decide to leave him every day and go to my place of employment? Because I am not just a mommy. (For ever person that is reading this that has chosen to stay at home with their children, know that I'm not implying that people who stay at home are *just* mommys. I am saying that we are all people beyond just the title of mommy or friend or employee.) I have missed using the part of my brain that I get to use at work. I think that I will be happier doing that. And just like Elijah's daddy doesn't stop being his daddy when he goes to work, I will not stop being his mommy.

That doesn't mean it will be easy for me to leave him. Childcare is still not finalized (although a whole lotta wonderful friends have passed on some good possibilities). I will miss the things that he does while I am gone from him. It breaks my heart to think about that.

So, to everyone who has an opinion about stay at home moms and working moms and what you should do, unless you have something encouraging to say to me about our decision for our family, I don't want to hear your thoughts. I'm sure that you feel strongly about where a mommy should be, but we've made this decision and we're good with it. Please don't imply that I love my child any less because I'm going back to an employer that I love. (As I will not imply that you are any less of a person because you choose to stay home with your child. Every family has to make the decision that is best for them.)

And yes, in case you're wondering, my boss has promised to have a box of Kleenex waiting for me when I get back to work.

Laundry helper

I'm sure I should be thankful that he's helping with the laundry. I only wish that his helping didn't extend to pulling the folded laundry onto the floor as well.

The new car

So we finally found a vehicle. (OK - it's been a couple of weeks. I forgot that I said I'd tell you when we bought it.) 2004 Toyota Camry. Fully loaded. We bought it privately from someone who took really good care of it. It's no 1992 Camry but it'll do...

Childcare for Elijah

September is rapidly approaching and that means I'm heading back to work. That also means that we're going to need someone to look after Elijah. Look at that happy boy. Who wouldn't want to hang out with him every day?

If anyone has any connections, ideas or has availability to look after him, I would love to hear from you.

Weekend at the lake

Thought you'd enjoy some pictures of Elijah's first summertime weekend at the lake.

All about reading

Several years ago I told someone that I loved reading. When they asked me my favorite author, I had no reply. I vowed that that was a situation that I would remedy. A friend loaned me a John Steinbeck book and that was the moment I really became a reader.

Now my reading varies. Some days are perfect for a quick Sophia Kinsella "Shopaholic" book. Others are good for a motivating Barbara Kingsolver book about eating locally grown food. Others are good for a novel like Khaled Hosseini's "Kiterunner".

I love reading because it opens an entirely new world to you. When would you ever learn about life in Afghanistan or Italy or some country in Africa if you didn't read about them in a book? Reading makes all those places so much more accessible. Reading is also a kind of journal of my life. I remember readying Nick Hornby's book "About a Boy" in London, realizing that I was actually seeing all the things that he was talking about. I remember reading Rudy Wiebe's "Peace Shall Destroy Many" in high school and for the first time in my life wondering about the pacifism that I had grown up with.

So here, in no particular order, are some, but definitely all, of my favorite books:

The Gift of Pain - Dr. Paul Brand and Phillip Yancey
Dr. Paul Brand spent years working with patients that had lepersy and discovered that the disease affects their nerves so that they don't feel pain. As a result, they end up injuring themselves. Pain, while difficult, can be a good thing in our lives.

Love Lessons - Louise Smith Brady
This is an endearing book about several couples and how they met and fell in love. I remember reading this as a single person. If I may be so bold, allow me to quote a portion of her introduction.

When people ask me where to find love, I cannot give them any addresses. Instead, I tell a story about one of my first job interviews when I arrived in New York. I interviewed for a job at a famous literary magazine, with a legendary editor. I had no experience or skills, and he didn't for one second consider hiring me. But he did give me some advice I will never forget. He said, "Go out into the world. Work hard and concentrate on what you love to do, writing. If you become good, we will find you. It may take five years. It may take ten. But if your work stands out, we will call you."

That's what I tell people looking for love. Don't read articles about how to trap, ensnare, seduce, or hypnotize a mate. Don't worry about your lipstick or your height, because in the end it's not going to matter. Just live your life well, take care of yourself, and don't mope, complain or shop too much. Love will find you.

Sweetness in the Belly - Camilla Gibb
I am particularly partial to all books having something to with Africa. This one is one of many I could have chosen. It is about a girl who grows up in Africa and ends up going to England, never quite fitting into either place.

Never Let Me Go - Kazuo Ishiguro
I don't even know how to describe this book without giving the good stuff of it away. Let me just say that if you read it, it is highly likely to dwell on your mind for days after you are finished.

The Glass Castle - Jeannette Walls
Memoir about a girl growing up in poverty in the states. I really enjoy learning about people's lives and the adversity they have to overcome to be the people that they are today.

Bloodletting and Miraculous Cures - Vincent Lam
Several intersecting stories about students going to school to become doctors.

I realize that those are definitely not all my favorites so I will end this list by noting some of the other authors that I have enjoyed:
- Jodi Picoult
- Anna Quindlen
- Anne Lamott
- Chris Bohjalian
- Camilla Gibb
- Sara Gruen

And now I will send out this request, I've loaded you up with reading suggestions for the summer. I would love to hear the books that you, my dear reader, think that one should definitely read at some point before they die.

I look forward to your suggestions...

If you're already spending thousands on a car

...why not spend a couple of hundred on new dishes?














I found this great Denby second quality website that is a lot less expensive than buying them in the store. So they have now been ordered and are being sent to my dear friend in Minneapolis and being picked up by my other dear friend when she goes down in a couple of weeks.


p.s. In case you're wondering, no car has been purchased yet. I'll let you know when we do.