Some recent pictures

When did he become a little boy?

I looked at this picture of Elijah and realized that he looks like a little boy. He's not a baby anymore.

There is a small part of me that is sad about that, but I have to admit that I like that he is becoming more and more independent. He doesn't need me like he once did. As long as I can keep the perspective that parenting is not about how my child makes me feel, I am good with this. I am proud with him when he tries something that he's never done before. The smile of accomplishment on his face never ceases to warm my heart.

I am also glad that that independance will give me the opportunity to once again use some of my non-mommy skills. To have something to add to a conversation besides his latest tooth (which popped out this morning) or the state of his bowel movements. It will be nice to going biking or cross country skiing without the thought that I have to hurry home to feed him. Someone else can do that. Yup. I think that this independence thing will be nice.

Fun in the summertime

I am happy to report...

that we have found childcare for Elijah.

I am also happy to report that she surpasses the minimum requirement of having a heartbeat. While it is a greater distance from home than I would like, we feel really good about the situation and think it will be a good fit for our family. There are several other kids at this home daycare and we think it will be nice for Elijah to have a chance to socialize with other kids every day.

Who knew that it would that challenging to find care? I actually had someone at a daycare laugh at me when I told them I was looking for full time care in September. Having said that, I also had daycares sympathetic to my situation. Several places tried to direct me to various home daycares.

I am so grateful to everyone who prayed and sent me possible options. In the end there were several opportunities available to us and it didn't feel like we *had* to take this one because it was the only option. We were glad to find that there were several other situations that would probably have worked out as well.

So the lesson to be learned is this: If you plan on having kids at any point in the next 10 years, and you think you might be going back to work, put your name on the waiting lists. Or, you can also believe that God will work things out and provide a home daycare for you. Either way, today our family is happy to report that Elijah will enjoying some great care in September.

A good time was had by all.

A better weekend we could not have had.

We had the privilege of spending the long weekend with treasured friends in Minneapolis. It was a perfect summer vacation - some shopping, a little bit of fun at the zoo and good times with friends.

Elijah with his older and wiser friends. They will teach him all he needs to know about Pokeman and the world of little boys and girls.

A John Deere tractor at the zoo.

Wouldn't you be happy too if someone pushed you around the zoo and you got all the puffed wheat you wanted to eat?

Good neighbours

Today I am thankful for our neighbours. We've got two great families living on either side of us. Both of them have been super generous. One of them gave us a play structure for Elijah and last week the other one offered us a bed for him. More than that, they are a friendly hello when we're outside. It's nice to know that when we venture away from home there are trustworthy people keeping an eye on our place.

To work or not to work

September is quickly approaching and that means that my mat leave will soon be ending. No more EI payments finding their way into my chequing account without leaving the house.

So the decision had to be made.

This past year has been a rollar coaster of emotions that surprised me. I love the job that I have had for the past five years and spent most of my pregnancy fully expecting that I would love to go back. In the last weeks of my pregnancy I started feel all sorts of emotions that I can only describe as *motherly*. I got excited at the thought of the little person that was growing inside of me. I had no idea who he or she was, but I knew that when Trevor put his head on my stomach and the little baby kicked him in the head, I was going to like this kid. He had spirit.

I have loved being at home with him. More than I ever could have imagined. My worries, while large in the moments that I've been living them, have been minor. As evidenced by the many pictures I have posted of him, he has been my pride and joy. I am in awe of him as he discovers new things. I love the enthusiasm he brings to trying new things. Steep stairs? No problem. Look at me go mom.

So, how can I decide to leave him every day and go to my place of employment? Because I am not just a mommy. (For ever person that is reading this that has chosen to stay at home with their children, know that I'm not implying that people who stay at home are *just* mommys. I am saying that we are all people beyond just the title of mommy or friend or employee.) I have missed using the part of my brain that I get to use at work. I think that I will be happier doing that. And just like Elijah's daddy doesn't stop being his daddy when he goes to work, I will not stop being his mommy.

That doesn't mean it will be easy for me to leave him. Childcare is still not finalized (although a whole lotta wonderful friends have passed on some good possibilities). I will miss the things that he does while I am gone from him. It breaks my heart to think about that.

So, to everyone who has an opinion about stay at home moms and working moms and what you should do, unless you have something encouraging to say to me about our decision for our family, I don't want to hear your thoughts. I'm sure that you feel strongly about where a mommy should be, but we've made this decision and we're good with it. Please don't imply that I love my child any less because I'm going back to an employer that I love. (As I will not imply that you are any less of a person because you choose to stay home with your child. Every family has to make the decision that is best for them.)

And yes, in case you're wondering, my boss has promised to have a box of Kleenex waiting for me when I get back to work.